“You’re a goddess! Own it!”

I’ll never forget how those words shot out of her mouth as we were talking one day at the “convent” where we both rented office space. I had moved there to be near her and some other amazing healers and therapists. What we called the “convent” was an old Catholic school building dating back to 1905 that had been run by nuns and later converted into office space. We enjoyed the history of the place, telling ghost stories, and gathering in Merrill’s tiny office where she held writing circles. For years we wrote and shared from the depth of our souls. We didn’t know what we had in us. She knew how to bring it out and we received the healing power of being seen and heard. 

On this particular day, it was just she and I visiting in her office. I don’t know what I was saying but I was clearly dimming my light and underappreciating my medicine and magic. She wasn’t having it. Her comment jolted me and woke me up. She said it in such a matter-of-fact way with no judgment, pointing out the facts. There was something about the way she said it. “You’re a goddess! Own it!”. I kept thinking she was right. Women like myself who tend to focus on others and downplay our gifts must claim our power and start shining. 

At that time I had no clue that Merrill would be leaving the physical plane far too soon. Cancer took her less than a year from diagnosis. It was a great gift and honor to be able to support her as she let go of her life in this incarnation. I took her words even more seriously. She changed my life. She catalyzed my voice, witnessed, and supported my artistry. She left behind many circles that continue to honor her lineage of writing for healing, writing to find our voice, and writing to save our souls!

After her physical departure in 2017, I started holding women’s circles in my new East Nashville office space. I moved out of the convent to be closer to home and expand my practice to do more circle work. Exploring the Divine Feminine goddess circles met at my office to celebrate the 8 holy sabbats in the Wheel of the Year. 

I have learned from many amazing teachers and mentors over the years and wanted to highlight Merrill as one who truly saw me. She was the embodiment of the Divine Feminine. She was a sister and soul friend. Of course, she had a shadow and she shared it in her poetry so we could all shine with her in both darkness and light. 

I never felt an inkling of judgment or competition from her. I shared a lot of my shadow with her and she saw me as a whole being, a powerful being. This reflection is what I hope to share with all the women ready to step into their power and stand WITH each other, holding each other up. Merrill modeled how to do this. She called people on their shit in the most loving and caring way. I knew exactly what she meant. Enough with the false humility beautiful friend. Be a fucking goddess already! I identify as Priestess and Divine Feminine mentor more than a goddess nowadays. May we all find what empowers and resonates with our souls. Shine on sacred sisters! Let’s keep holding each other up and calling each other out with love. Blessed Be!

Here is a poem Merril wrote for my birthday after I survived a bad car wreck where someone T-boned us running a red light. She got it!

Full throttle woman

Burning through town

Doing three times the limit

Just try to catch her

She will outrun your ass

Try to put her in jail

And the iron bars will melt

Try to block her way

By running a red light

And she will survive

She will thrive

What does not kill you 

Makes you a shama-mama

Music rising full force

Her naked soul shameless

Amber soaked notes rise

In a hallelujah chorus

Of carpe fucking Diem

Merrill’s books on Amazon:

Kissing My Shadow: Poems by Merrill Farnsworth

Jezebel’s Got the Blues…And Other Works of Imagination: A Collection of Monologues and Dialogues, inspired by the Old Testament, Told with a Southern Voice and Tinged with the Blues