I Finally Listened to My Soul

"It takes courage to push yourself to places that you have never been before, to test your limits, to break through barriers. And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

~ Anais Nin

This quote by Anais Nin is one of my favorites and the perfect metaphor for some recent big leaps and life changes. This summer, my focus shifted to positioning myself for more freedom, creativity, adventure, and connection. This was no small feat and required me to wait before moving forward. I was called to jump before knowing where I would land. I was called to wait for the Guidance to drop in with clarity. 

Anais was a woman ahead of her time who broke the mold of the dominant culture to express herself authentically. There have been many like her who have managed to rise despite the culture. Think of how many were left unacknowledged, their voice stifled, too fearful or trapped. If you feel the stirrings of your soul to break this pattern of staying safe out of fear, keep reading.

I’m relieved to be on the other side of a massive change that may have been the hardest decision I have ever made, which is to give up what felt like it was holding me back, even though it had served me well and been my haven. Sound familiar? Perhaps a job, a relationship, or a responsibility you took on that may no longer be serving you.

I paused my group offerings and trainings to recover, regroup, and revise what I call home. I asked myself, how am I answering the call of the Divine Feminine that has been with me all my adult life? The signs have been there, again and again. I can’t ignore them. This is soul freedom, living in surrender according to my intuition and Divine Guidance. This is no easy feat in our present culture that emphasizes linear thinking, empirical evidence, and logic. I’m a fan of those things, too, or I would never accomplish anything or be dead by now.

I recognize the programming. I must discern when it takes over my mind and instead follow the authority of my emotional waves and intuition, which do not come from the logical mind but from the deeper feminine oracle of the body and womb space. I work with the interference that swoops in right when I start to feel confident and says, “Hold on, are you up for this? Is this logical? Are you sure this is what you should be doing?” I could be a victim of this interference, whether it’s programming, or dark entities, or demons, or whatever you call your negative agenda, your saboteur, your shadowy blind spots. It has been a lot of clearing to prepare for the decision to surrender to the calling, no matter how exciting and terrifying it might feel.

I’m tired of being fearful of the inevitable growth and expansion that follows initiation. I have resisted long enough and made excuses that felt real at the time, but I keep removing the obstacles until I run out of excuses. I can be a victim of struggle or see it as the way to freedom. I think I’m getting closer. Won’t you join me in this exciting journey?

What is most important to you right now?

Peace? Integrity? Faith? Living your values? Social Justice? Living in harmony with the Earth? Heart-centeredness?

It feels important to cultivate our human hearts and embody freedom. If I quit seeking love outside of me, RECEIVE the unconditional love that is always with me, and BECOME love, that would be the ultimate Divine Feminine act of service. We are humans upleveling into something capable of more once we listen to our soul. When we embody our authenticity, engage with creativity, and become love instead of worrying about where we’re going to get it, we vibrate into the collective mending the “field”. We are doing our part to walk our talk and not re-enact the massive lack of respect for human life being enacted in our world. Let’s use our power and magic. This is not a savior complex; it’s empowerment and sovereignty. Are you coming?

This marks the beginning of my Freedom Tour, a time to break free of the cultural programming. It’s something I have wanted to do again since my 20s & 30s. Without much money, I did just that by exploring the wilderness, camping, and backpacking around the west, southwest, exploring the Pacific coast of the US and Mexico. Nature, travel, music, creative expression, intimacy, connection, and exposure to other cultures were ways I lived more freely. I’m ready to do it again from a much more mature and resourced place. I do it to be less entangled in the 3D false matrix, the programming of the patriarchal culture. I don’t buy it. Why are we working so hard? For what purpose? For the sake of what? Comfort? What is the cost of comfort? I am willing to give some of that up while still taking good care of myself and embrace the growth that stretches me out of my comfort zone. I do it to be closer to Presence. 

I found myself once again on the path of burnout, moving further from Divine inspiration that needed a lot of time to breathe, listen, and take it’s sweet time to be reborn. I have been here at different points in my life, and the old separation and anti-life paradigm is finally ready to crumble. If there’s a time to get back to my spiritual roots and values, it’s now. It’s about the Divine Feminine and how She has been denied, hidden, scorned, shamed, and desecrated. It’s about the creative power that flows through us all as Divine beings interconnected and One with Source. 

I’m a determined woman. It’s taken centuries to get us here, but the support is here if we choose to accept it. I hope you find inspiration in the sacred beauty of your life. May we know peace, may we be free, may we become love! 

Blessings,

Jenna